THE AZOIC - Lyrics

LYRICS

Conflict [EP]

CONFLICT
You taught me right, You taught me wrong. You told me to always be strong. You paved the way, You showed me fear. I know now what was unclear. I saw one thing yet heard another. I was too young to understand. I never knew what to believe. I feel so deceived. Confusion in my head. Don't understand all that you said. Yet now I see the light. It's times like these I realize. But how can I with these mixed messages that you did bring? And forgive all the pain you caused, all of the suffering.
Keep my perspective straight. Keep me away from hate. Keep my eyes so bright, uncovered. Oh please won't you guide me towards the light?
Conflict, confusion, distrust... (lyrics and melody by Kristy Venrick)

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Forward [CD]

NOT JUSTIFIED
The time has come for you. The moment to realize It’s now or never, but do not criticize Won’t you come a little closer and please take my hand. Nothing sacrificed here and nothing gained. And, it’s coming inside me, oh my hands are tied. My soul is being cleansed now, but I’m not justified. My mind is getting clouded and my conscious wiped away. I’m feeling severed. It swells inside my head. I can’t escape the pain. Don’t you remember? This is no paradise, but you’ll be mystified. I’ve come to bring you here inside these walls. And, it’s coming inside me, oh my hands are tied. My soul is being cleansed now, but I’m not justified. You want these simple pleasures, but your fears are turned outside. Won’t you surrender? Reclaim your sacred ties and please just realize it’s not the same. So do you see the tears? It’s all a factor here. I’m not the one you need to take you there. And, it’s coming inside me, oh my hands are tied. My soul is being cleansed now, but I’m not justified. (lyrics and melody by Kristy Venrick)

LOST
You’ll never know what you’ve lost... Hold on, hold on, hold on tight to me. See things, hear things, for what they really mean. Can’t you, won’t you, just believe in me? I hope, I’m not just, just a memory. But your heart is not healed and all your anguish is revealed. I know the healing is painful and the heartache unbearable. But don’t dismiss me so quickly until you see inside of me. I know you’ll realize someday what you’ve lost by pushing me away. But sometimes you have to take a leap and see all that my love can bring. (lyricsand melody by Kristy Venrick)

EVOLUTION
The world isn’t what it seems. Maybe there’s a reason why? A place we should only see in our dreams. If we knew we would all want to die. We’re in a place, where our bodies are used;a place that’s cyber. It’s a place, where we’re abused. Reality is a hoax; it’s all a dream. Our minds into something we can’t believe. We need to be liberated from the truth. Our minds set free and retrieved. We are always believing, that what we see is real. An elaborate deception, spun by our own creation. We’re in a place where we can’t escape. A place that we built with our own technology. We need to take control from these things that suppress us. And fight! And fight! The machines that want to control us. (lyrics by Steve Laskarides)

PROGRESSION
I feel the hysteria breaking. My mind is altercating. I try to rediscover that there is no other. But something interferes. My past and all of those years. Why do I slip back into how it was before? Going further down below this spiral, twisting; inside of me. Please come and take me from these lies. The past and all that I despise. Come rescue me. With these feelings that we share. The hopes and dreams, I cannot bear. You’re all I need. Subduing cries, beyond demise. Can you believe? Why is it me? Confined and bound, forced to the ground. Facing fears, without a tear. It’s complicating, but you’re facilitating the forward progression, of my soul. Given the situation, it’s a revelation that you can be so patient, here. To wait until it subsides. Until I heal all the lies. For you to see; see what’s beneath. The voices whispering through my head. The nights I always seem to dread. With each cross I’ve chosen to bear, the choice is clear. I know you’re not to blame. And I am so ashamed. It seems, my forward progression is near. It seems to change perspective now. It seems so different now. It seems to change. (lyrics and melody by Kristy Venrick)

HARSH REALITY
Shattered tears. Internal fears. Your stinging words abuse my inner self. Oh, how you’ve helped. Time is spared. I’m not repaired. And cleanse the scars. Reflect afar. A harsh reality. I’m keeping with the ever lasting hate. Or whether it’s fate, It’s all inside of me. I can not separate the past from what could last, or what might always be. The truth disguised behind the lies. Intentional. Do not resist. Reflect upon recovery. I can never compromise, nor go against my will. Engage your eyes. Hold back the sighs. Embrace your fears and innocence. Don’t be so tense. I’m keeping with the ever lasting hate. Or whether it’s fate, It’s all inside of me. I can not separate the past from what could last, or what might always be. (lyrics by and melody Kristy Venrick)

REDEMPTION
I want to make you see that I’m all you need. To restore your view; Perception. It shall suffice, changing ways. Let me step aside. I will not hide anyway. I can not unwind. Redemption. It shall suffice, changing ways. Let me step aside. I will not hide anyway. I can not unwind. Redemption is the way. Restoration of the faith, inside my head; Redemption. It shall suffice, changing ways. Let me step aside. I will not hide anyway. I can not unwind. Redemption of my soul. Restoration of faith. Restore your view of perception. I can wait. (lyrics by Kristy Venrick)

CARVE INTO YOU
Your painful, silent touch; a violation. Oppression, our voice; an isolation. You torture the defenseless. Slaughter the helpless. The powerless your witness of your filthy consciousness. The muffled screams of the innocent. You rape to kill; to annihilate. This red room, your kingdom here in solitude. The prisoners devoured by raging flames. Burning bridges, your belligerence consimed. Confessions to your God not dissolved nor removed. A silent witness searching for vengeance. The gray sky above consumes me with their ashes. As I carve these words into your remembrance, I promise that this will hurt you. You will feel it like I do when you fall. I’m a strategy working toward your destruction. You’ll become the prisoner of your own mind. (lyrics by Naida Zukic; modified by Kristy Venrick)

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Where Broken Angels Lie [CD] out of print

NILAIHAH
Sweating time. Losing blood. Glazing eyes. Purple lips. A chill is sent. and then it rips. (lyrics by Kristy Venrick)

TERRIBLE SPACE
And every day I think of this distance. This space that keeps us apart. I long to be near you once again. To never leave your heart. If only miles could be erased. Together you and I. The connection of two lost hearts. The distance no longer tears us apart. To never leave your face. Always feel your embrace. What are we to become. Our love so strong this terrible space. Uncertainty, unknowing, a huge sense of loss burning the memory of your face. What do we become? What promises do we make? Pass this test of time. Forever longing your embrace. Our dreams never to be shattered. Nothing more to doubt. Our life together once again. The distance no longer tearing us apart. (lyrics by Tondalaya; modified by Steve Laskarides)

INTIMATE INCISIONS
The scalpel cuts through the air. Your thoughts are thick; I do not dare. Dehumanize that which you love. Like clipping the wings of a dove. The quiet bound by razor ribbon. I hear this breath; intrude this reason. Demoralize your affection. Feed you the fruits of my deception. Our eyes of fear bloodshot and bruised. Are weeping in this naked room. You were my life, and now I must end it. Your like a knife as you cut me and I like it. Intimate Incisions. Slice my lips as we speak. I'm bleeding now; my blood is weak. Dehumanize that which you love. Like clipping the wings of a dove. The jagged edge of slithered eyes. Are seething with deceptive lies. Demoralize your affection. Feed you the fruits of my deception. The scraping silence penetrates beneath.
My lifeless skin with no relief. You were my life, and now I must end it. Your like a knife as you cut me and I like it. Intimate Incisions. The sharded glass and slashing fears. Are raping me of silent tears. You were my life, and now I must end it. Your like a knife as you cut me and I like it. The piercing moans destroyed the light. Revealing me before your sight. Intimate Incisions. (lyrics and melody by Kristy Venrick and Shawn Lower)

SUMMONING
Mysticism enters; Time is deferred. Emotions swarm around me. It seems quite absurd. And can you hear the darkness? Can you feel it swirl? Engulfs me in the shadows. I feel such an urge. It seems to summon me. Demanding me; encompass me, taking energy. I take a lasting breath; in a realm unknown. Leaving an emulsion; sinking far below. It bellows far and wide; bringing fear into the night. Draws me in; never letting go. Clutching my skin; tearing away sin. Fierce submission; unconditioned. It seems to summon me. Encompass me; taking energy; demanding me Encompassing; taking energy; Summoning. (lyrics and melody by Kristy Venrick)

THE SAD WORD
(lyrics by Steve Laskarides)

DROWN
Each day I'm closer to forgetting. These times of pain; In days of shame. By cutting out memories on skin. And removing the guilt of sin. Images pass with hallowed eyes. Sucked of life that make my stomach crawl. Immortal are you my dead child. Weeping tears and silent cries. Trapped in a web, sucked of life. In a pool of calm you lay. Drown, drown, down. Amnesia hits; a violent fit. Strangling, wondering. Silence creeps up my throat. Trapped within, trembling. Nothing remains of the struggle. Devoid of hurt and buried in hell. Immortal are you my dead child. Weeping tears and silent cries. Trapped in a web, sucked of life. In a pool of calm you lay. Drown, drown, down. The life that I could not give lives inside of me. I take it away deprived of life, A beginning; an ending. By cutting out memories on skin. And removing the guilt of sin. Images pass with hallowed eyes. Sucked of life that make my stomach crawl. Silence creeps up my throat. Trapped within, trembling. Nothing remains of the struggle. Devoid of hurt and buried in hell. (lyrics and melody by Kristy Venrick)
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the divine suffering [CD] out of print

PURE PLEASURE
I stood, you hit, for pure pleasure, as pure as glass. Ran down the back of my neck. The imprint left will not wash away. Scrubbing it raw, I cry unable to breathe. Bleeding. No reason, pure pleasure, the shearness of pleasure. Power for your kind, power in your hand. No thoughts exchanged, I was down. Without reason, without power. The pure pleasure of shearness. Oh shearness of pleasure, of power and hatred. On the innocent, of which no one protects. For your pleasure of power. The power of pleasure, pleasure of power. (lyrics and melody by Kristy Venrick)

I TRIED TO WARN YOU
The scars on my arm are nothing to the one in my mind. And the warmth you're searching for you'll never find. From my black heart flows pure hate. In a hell, my madness I recreate. Don't get too close or let your feelings be shown. Or you'll be like me, you'll be alone. A fool was I, now I'm alone. Now I'm alone, alone, alone. I slide like a serpeant, you fly as a dove. I've raped the angels high above. I tried to warn you, why wouldn't you listen. Now I'm watching your soft flesh stiffin, stiffin, stiffin, stiffin. Don't try to love me, my love is lethal. Don't try to touch me, my touch is evil. You're a golden winged angel, I'm a psychotic freak. You sing the longest note, I stutter when I speak. I tried to warn you to get away, but you wouldn't listen to what I say. I lurk in the shadows, you live in light. I cringe at your beauty, you scream at my sight. We are different you and I, I bleed tears when I cry. My wounds will not heal, your heart I'll try not to steal. I tried to warn you. Why wouldn't you listen. Now I watch your drying blood, oh how I love to watch your. Drying blood glisten, glisten. You're a golden winged angel, I'm a psychotic freak. You sing the longest note, I stutter when I speak. I never wanted to hurt you this bad. I never wanted to make you bleed. (lyrics by Shawn Lower)

NO STRENGTH TO FEEL
Once I felt something, something more than despair. Once this life meant something, but no longer do I care. Everything I felt was so long ago, everything I was has faded. Once I yearned to again see your face. All I see now is shades of grey. Once all I wanted was to feel your embrace. All I want now is to drift away. Everything I was has turned to dust. Everything I am is decayed. The gashed eyes, torn lies you fed me. You stain the truth. With deceit you left me no strength to feel. Once I tried to make you love me. I gave up, it wasted my time. Once I shed my tears on your beauty. I gave in to emotions and it corrupted my mind. Everything I thought was wrong, everything I loved is gone. Once I tried to believe, forced to kneel, forced to bleed. Once was so long ago, so long ago I felt the need. To feel the steel cut deep, to long for that eternal sleep. Hallowed out and thrown away. Don't care to see another day. Happiness and stability disappear fast. Emotions finally die at last. Tired of living, tired of deceiving, tired of caring, tired of grieving. I have no strength to lie or the strength to cry. I've got the strength to pick up the steel, but not the strength to feel. (lyrics by Steve Laskarides and Shawn Lower)

INSIDE
Dead is better better than this. I long to feel maggots gnaw at my eyes. I long to be free of all of my lies. I want you to scrape my brains off the wall. I want you to pull the knife from my chest. I want you to be there when I'm dying. I want the last thing I see to be you crying. I'm returning to nothing. Smell the tears quivering from my lips of pain as I live the hurt. Pain fires up my spine with unrelentless force as the uncaring emotions tear into me. Dismissing lies as truth I lay with unconscious eyes. Blackened in fear, you took what I had, Inside. I want you to pull the pills from my throat. I want you to push me from the ledge. I want you to untie the noose from my neck. I want you to pull the razor from my wrist. I want you to be there to feel my last breath. I want you to know I'll find paradise in death. I'm returning to nothing...nothing. Smell the tears quivering from my lips of pain as I live the hurt. Pain fires up my spine with unrelentless force as the uncaring emotions tear into me. Dismissing lies as truth I lay with unconscious eyes. Blackened in fear, you took what I had, Inside. (lyrics by and melody Kristy Venrick and Shawn Lower)

SERENITY DESTROYED
Welcome to my church of perversity. Place of my birth, into serenity. No one could shadow my disease and pain. And for their efforts none shall remain. Baptized in blood, cleansed by fire. Not even the holy ones resist my desire. Something inside of me claws at my flesh. With a vengeance and power all its own. Shredding my mind, stripping the compassion. Grinding it into a hate, the hate of destruction. The wicked shall be blessed. The saints line up to hear my words. The virgins for my caress. Everlasting misery, serenity destroyed, serenity destroyed. Once I was just a man, but I can never change who or what I am. To the night I am sworn at me fallen angels swarm. Choir of damnation screams my theme. At me fallen angels swarm. (lyrics by Steve Laskarides and Shawn Lower)

VIOLATION
When I fall asleep the dreams come. Images of strange lights and demons. I'm lying on a cold table strapped down. Then the drills come, then the drills come. At night they still haunt me, in dreams they still taunt me. Dreading the night, my life's flashbacks of violation. Experiments in humiliation, a weird sort of laughter. Locked away they don't understand. Abduction they'll never believe. They strap me down. Then the drills come, Again. Then the drills come, Again. (lyrics by Steve Laskarides)

THORNS
Thorns brace my side as you plunge deep. Into resistance, escaping the eternal. Pieces shroud the fear as they are held within the core. Then you pierce my skin, I stumble falling to the floor.
Hurt in my eyes, red, as blood. My lips quiver in the dark. Carve me from the earth, from inside, unexposed. No facade, no expectations, transformed. Pieces shroud the fear as they are held within the core. Then you pierce my skin, I stumble falling to the floor. I shrivel, with pain inside these walls. You carved the lies onto my skin.. Thorns brace my side as you plunge deep.
Into resistence escaping the eternal. (lyrics and melody by Kristy Venrick)

TALKING TO A GHOST
Do not fear, I come to repent. Stupidity, I didn't realize what we meant. A soul full of hate in my cross to bear. Your warmth and love I did not care. I do not want you to see me cry I am at fault so I must die. Your home so final, your stone so cold. Your soft voice flows in the wind. To sleep per chance to dream. Bolt the door, bare the wrist. To kill, I know the risk. To slit, per chance to bleed. Oh holy night. You were so kind and beautiful back then. To please my every wish and whim. I remember you on that fatal day. In a pool of blood there you lay. Your peaceful eyes so calm, so calm. In remembrance I'll use the razor in my palm. In the darkness of lost dreams my dead hopes left to petrify. In a maze of my rotting aspirations. Back to the comforting darkness of death. I felt real love for the first time in my life. My mind confused so you paid the price. I hope you forgive me for I can never. Liquid of life flows in the artery I must sever. The blood running down my arm makes me smile. For my own life is the ultimate denial. I'm sorry for loving you, so sorry. To die per chance to be free. To love per chance to be loved. Oh holy night I will never see again.

ALONE
The train flies by and off you go. To another place, far away, far away, alone. But you like it there, you like it there. With no life, no death, only stillness. I think of you often in your world of sin. But you like it there, you like it there. My cries rustle in the trees, as I see your face. Cold as the night on which you left me. But you like me there, you like me there. (lyrics and melody by Kristy Venrick)
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